So I've decided to keep a sort of journal for this crazy roller coaster ride called "Trying to Conceive". It's a little late but as they say, better late than never. I don't really know if I'll keep this up, but I think it might be a great way to remember this journey.
I'll start with the history...
Chris and I got married on April 1st, 2002. He was on active duty with the Marine Corps and we didn't know when he'd be home... babies were going to have to wait! Chris was home for good in March 2003 and by August we decided that I would go off the pill and we'd try to start a family.
Things seemed to be going good, I was regular right off the bat but it didn't happen right away. We didn't care too much because we were moving from a 1 room apartment to a 1 bedroom apartment and thought, ok more room. Well over the next several months I got OBSESSED with trying. I read every trick, hint, old wives tail, everything to make it happen... and well it still didn't. I was very emotional and cried every month that I wasn't pregnant. Chris told me I was stressing too much and it was starting to wear on him as well as me. He suggested that we just "give up" and if it happens it happens.
Well October 2006 rolled around and my biological clock was going bonkers! I still hadn't even had a false positive... my periods were more regular than when I was on the pill! Babies and baby talk started to take over again. We had just bought a house, I had just turned 29, and we now had plenty of room! There were no more excuses for why we shouldn't have a baby. I wanted to be pregnant for Christmas!.... ok then New Year's... ok then by Valentine's Day... yup, still hadn't gotten that BFP (Big Fat Positive).
January was rough for Chris and I. We had numerous discussions and fights about babies. I was on a one way path to motherhood and wasn't listening to my husband! I was willing to do anything, and Chris didn't want medical intervention. Long sad story short, we decided I could see a doctor, see what was wrong but if it came down to having to do artificial insemination or Invetro Fertilization we'd stop.
I purchased an OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) and an at home sperm concentration test. Chris's test came out fine... I never even got 1 positive OPK. I was testing, taking prenatals, baby aspirin, and temping every morning with no results. Even the temping software said it couldn't predict ovulation. I scheduled a doctor's appointment in March with the Chesapeake Women's Center in Easton and chose Dr. Patrick O'Brien, hoping he would bring us some Irish Luck!
I was so glad I chose him! He's great! He was very nice and at my yearly exam he asked if I had any questions. I said, "YES! I've been off birth control since August 2003 and I want a baby!" He asked a few more questions, told me to stop temping and plotting and controlling, that it was all too stressful, and then on my way out the door he said, "We're going to get you pregnant!". Chris joked later that he meant help Chris and I right?!
Dr. O'Brien scheduled me for blood work, all my hormones were fine. Then he scheduled me for an HSG Scan - hysterosalpingogram (A hysterosalpingogram is a fertility test used to detect uterine and fallopian health. The HSG test uses x-ray technology to create a picture of the uterus and fallopian tubes. When you undergo an HSG test, colored dye is injected into you uterus. This dye then travels up through the fallopian tubes and out into the abdominal cavity. The HSG allows your health care provider to determine if there is any damage to your reproductive system.) The scan was on March 6th. The test wasn't suppose to hurt and it was suppose to be quick. Well the catheter used to inject the dye wouldn't go up past my cervix... and it killed! I decided at that moment when I was pregnant and in labor I was definitely having the epidural! Dr. O'Brien injected the dye and watched the monitor as the X-Ray tech moved the machine above my abdomen. I got to watch the screen as well. Well, when the dye reaches the end of the fallopian tubes that's when it's suppose to hurt and feel like cramping. It is suppose to practically explode out of the tubes and into the abdomen. Yah, mine didn't. Mine just sat there. Even after 10 more minutes the dye had not moved out of the tubes. So that meant Laparoscopic Surgery (LAP).
I didn't think much of the LAP at first. Thought it was going to be just a little more in depth than the HSG... boy was I wrong! I did some research and found out that you are put under anesthesia and they actually CUT you! I had no idea it was real surgery! Needless to say I still opted to do it. It was scheduled for April 3rd.
April 3rd came very quickly! I had been in Maine the week before mailing catalogs from the printers for work and staying with my mom. She decided to come back with me and be there for the LAP. It was great having my two favorite people with me when I woke up! My husband and my mother!
So I arrived at the Easton Hospital at 7:30 am for the surgery. I was lucky enough to request Lacey Guyette to be my post op nurse. I knew having a familiar voice and face would make it all easier. Considering this was only my 2nd time under anesthesia I was pretty scared!
They prepped me for surgery - That room was FREEZING! And about 45 minutes later Dr. O'Brien went out to the waiting room to inform Chris and my mom that everything was ok. My uterus was tipped backwards but there was no fallopian tube damage. It took me a while to wake up from the anesthesia and the first thing I asked Lacey was "how many cuts?" She said that there were only 2. Dr. O'Brien had informed me at my pre-op physical that there would be 2 - 4 depending on how much work they would need to do. I started crying. Knowing that there were only 2 cuts meant that they didn't need to do extra work and I knew I could have babies!
I was informed later that everything was ok but I still needed to get ovulating regularly. Dr. O'Brien said that he'd start me on clomid on CD3 (cycle day 3 or my 3rd day of my period).
I got home and Chris and my mom waited on me hand and foot! It was so nice, actually they wouldn't let me do anything... they kept saying for 4 days "What do you need?" and usually I'd respond with "I gotta pee!" I recovered really well. I cut right back on pain meds right away but still tired very easily. I also would have a terrible cough every once in a while or my heart would race and I'd get dizzy, but that was just the anesthesia still leaving my body.
So here it is April 8th, Easter, and my cuts are pretty well healed and I've had NO meds today! I have my post-op physical with Dr. O'Brien on Friday, April 13th. Lucky for me Friday the 13th has always been a good day for me! It's also suppose to be CD3! My AF (Actual Flow or period) is suppose to start on the 10th... it would be great to have the physical and start the clomid all by next weekend!
So I'm really excited that I went from "just letting it happen" and it not happening to finding a really great doctor that is just moving things full speed ahead. Every corner we turn in this journey has been filled with question, doubt, and fear, but it has also been filled with excitement, anticipation, and courage. With every question there has been answers. For every road block there has been another path opened.
I just know that soon, very soon, Chris and I will be able to announce to the world that it is our time to bring a baby into the world.... And it will truly be a miracle and a blessing!