Have you ever had a nightmare so real it just shakes you to the core? Leaves you with that unsettling feeling all day? They are just awful aren’t they?!
I awoke this morning around 6:30 crying and shaking uncontrollably. Chris had been up really late last night, but I still woke him and just had to cry in his arms and hold him tight. Yes, it was that bad.
The worst part about it was that at one time it could have come true, and it would have been one of my biggest fears while Chris was a Marine Reserve. Here is the dream, some parts don’t make sense, but hey, it was a dream after all…
Chris and I were walking around a bus station and he was wearing his USMC camis. Not sure what we were doing but we were just walking around, chatting, laughing and smiling. At the bus station there were tons of Army soldiers, all dressed in their camis as well. Chris did his usual picking on the Army thing, saying they weren’t tough enough to be Marines (if you know a Marine, you know what I mean!). Then we saw a Sergeant come out of the station and everyone started paying attention.
He started reading names off a list in first name alphabetical order. (weird huh!) Well, he got to the C’s and read Christopher Sayers USMC. There had been a stop-loss and Chris was being called back to active duty and he was going to war.
I looked at him in complete shock and just grabbed him and held him. He was a lot calmer than I was, I was crying hysterically. He told me there was nothing he could do about it and it was his job. He joined the Marine Corps to serve his country, and that’s what he had to do.
As he pulled away from me to say our final goodbyes, I held his face in my hands and told him I loved him. Then I said “Be home before the baby is born, ok!”. He said he would try and said “March right?” We both new that when they say 6 months, they mean a year, and if they say a year, they mean 2. We kissed again and he turned around and headed for the bus.
That’s when I woke up crying. And even though I know if Chris could, he would be back in the Marine Corps in a heartbeat, I thank my lucky stars that he is done. I am very proud of my Marine husband, and all that he has done, not only in his life, but especially in serving with the Marine Corps. And while he feels he should have gone to Afghanistan or Iraq, I am happy that he stayed state side filling in at Camp Lejune for others that were deployed during active duty.
And lastly, I am happy we waited until he was out to start trying for a child. I can’t even fathom dealing with what I felt in my dream, in real life. I am so thankful to have my man with me! I don’t know how all you service men and women do it, other than I know you feel it’s your job and that you have chosen to do it. And I thank you for that too!!!
With that being said, I really hope tonight is nightmare free! I could really use a good nights sleep.