I'm trying to accept that I am not Super Woman. I can not do it all.
I have visions of a beautifully decorated home where every element of decoration is something gifted or home made.
I picture a family that sits down at the dinner table to enjoy beautifully home made meals with all the proper fixin's to make it healthy and delicious.
I dream of celebrations in my home, whether it's for a birthday, a holiday or even just a dinner party, with all home made goodies, decorations, favors, and place holders.
I think I wish I was Martha Stewart - minus the jail time and fraud.
I realize that it's just not going to happen! (Not yet anyway.)
I tend to bite off more than I can chew when it comes to what I want, and what I'm physically able to do. And then when I realize all that I can't do, I become terribly upset with myself. I really need to accept that sometimes you can't work 40 hours a week, create your own pre-school agenda for your toddler, cook gourmet meals every night, make everything by hand, clean, make cupcakes and appetizers for my child's birthday party, create all new handmade Christmas decorations for our tree, and make all Christmas gifts by hand this year, all in a day... week... or even a month!
However, I've really tried!
I didn't make all new Christmas ornaments for the tree, however, I did make a bow for the topper and used ribbon as garland and we have a gorgeous tree this year. I absolutely love it.
Some gifts were handmade, luckily I gave myself 3 weeks for this and finishing touches were done today. I also managed to make 2 kid's quilts. One for a friend and one for Aidan. I finished Aidan's today. It's not perfect by any means, but it was made with my two hands, and much love! (Actually it was looking pretty near perfect until I decided to quilt it. Not my strong suit, but it's still ok.)
And my husband took some wonderful photos (including the above of the tree) of Aidan infront of the tree to use for our Christmas cards.
I've given Aidan something constructive to do every weekend while I'm crafting. He has colored, painted and even helped me make cookies. That's his favorite. He hears the beaters going and he comes running into the kitchen to help. The only drawback is that the mixing part doesn't take very long, and so Aidan doesn't get to help for long. Sometimes this results in little "terrible almost two" meltdowns, but he still enjoys standing on the chair next to me.
Even if we are having a store bought ice cream cake for his birthday party this weekend, and I didn't make special little Blues Clues cupcakes, hand made party favors, and all Blues Clues related food, I made his yearly video. I'll have to share it when I find time to upload it to YouTube. It's a beautiful video set to music, it's about 8 minutes of photographs and videos of Aidan in the past year. It makes me cry watching it. I'm just so proud of what he's been able to accomplish in a year!
And you know, I guess I had some part of all he's accomplished!
So, I'm not Martha Stewart, and I also don't have her budget or staff. I really just need to be proud of what I have done, glad that I have a wonderful husband as well as family and friends that don't expect me to do it all and applaud what I do get done. And I need to tell myself, "The job you have done is SUPER, Woman!"
But we all know we are our own worst critics, and I'll try again next year.